I think this is the "million dollar question", and one of the central pillars by which people delve into personal improvement. We would all like to be able to make meaningful changes in our lives, whether it is improving our health, increasing our productivity or achieving our financial goals.
However, we often find ourselves struggling with resistance to change and daily distractions that prevent us from achieving our long-term goals. We work hard for a while and then we get tired and go back to our old way of life, so I started to wonder: How can we overcome these barriers and make lasting changes?
As an introduction to today's Wise Saturday, I want to share this quote from James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits."
Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity
In the past, when trying to achieve something important, I have made the mistake of focusing exclusively on the result and not on the process or the profound change I have to make.
A few years ago I remember doing the "keto" diet that worked for me to be able to lose approximately 10 kilos in a relatively short period of time, only to end the diet and return to my same eating habits and return to my original weight.
This led me to try to lose weight again, not with the keto diet, but now to focus on my eating habits, I focused on changing the foods that I regularly consume and those that I enjoy, so I was able to lose those 10 extra kilos again, but now I have managed to keep them out for a long time.
For this I had to focus on changing my identity, on not being someone who "for the moment" is taking care of themselves or is on a temporary diet, but on being someone who enjoys eating healthy .
Another example is drinking alcohol. I haven't consumed alcohol at parties for a while now. When they ask me why, I don't say "I'm trying not to drink," I say "I don't drink." It may seem like a small difference but this is the key to any lasting change you want to make.
If you want to change your habits, whatever they may be, it is important that you also change the beliefs that motivate them. Although you may have a new goal and a plan to achieve it, if you don't change your way of being and your thinking patterns, it will be difficult for you to achieve lasting changes.
Remember that:
- The goal is to be healthy, not to diet to lose weight.
- The goal is to be a reader, not to read a book.
- The goal is to be a content creator, not upload a video on YouTube.
Focus on the word " be ."
Choose the person you want to be and show it every day
Your habits are how you demonstrate your identity. Your identity comes from your habits. This can be a virtuous cycle or a vicious cycle depending on how you use it.
These are the steps to change your identity:
- Choose the person you want to be.
- Demonstrate it every day with your habits.
The way to show it to yourself every day is with your actions, no matter how small they are:
- Every time you eat nutritious food, you are healthy.
- Every time you read a page, you are a reader.
- Every time you start an exercise, you are an athlete.
The important thing is to do it consistently. Each instance of the habit you perform is evidence of your new identity.
Our identity is closely linked to our habits, as every action we take reflects the person we wish to become.
You just have to convince yourself that this is the case, so that is the point I will touch on now.
Doing a little every day is better than doing nothing (or doing a lot in a single day)
Working a little on a habit is better than not working on it or waiting until you have enough motivation to overcome our resistance.
For example, if you want to exercise more, instead of waiting until you have the perfect free time to go to the gym or do a long session, you can start by walking a little each day or doing some simple exercises at home.
This way, you're building a habit and making progress toward changing your identity, rather than waiting for the perfect motivation and timing to do it "the right way."
This is due to two main points:
Getting started is the hardest
Imagine yourself in this situation: Today you have to go to the gym but you don't feel like it, you have three options:
- Leave it for tomorrow.
- Do a simple exercise at home.
- Get changed, go to the gym, do just a little exercise and come home.
As long as you choose option 2 or 3 you will be fulfilling if your goal is to change your identity to being someone who enjoys exercising.
If you focus on option number 3 you will realize that the greatest resistance is to start, once you start, continuing becomes much easier.
The important thing is not to break the streak
We could say that a habit is a behavior learned through repetition, so it is very important to repeat it every or almost every day.
Going back to the exercise example, what could you do if you got to the end of the day and really couldn't exercise?
Get out of bed, do a push-up, and go back to sleep. Ready. You did excercise!
It may sound meaningless but what you just did was keep the streak alive, and that is the key to change. Congratulations!
Important note: Failing to perform a habit one day does not have a significant impact from a physiological point of view. However, psychologically it can be a problem if we allow this to discourage us. It is important to remember that although it is best not to skip any days, if we do, we should not get too frustrated and abandon our progress. Remember this to stay motivated and focused on your goal.
Take the process seriously and don't skip a day, and if you fail one day to maintain your streak, don't let it turn into 2 or more days.
Final Words
I say goodbye with this phrase:
